wakanda for chickens
This newsletter features the creation of Facebook, card games, and local otters.
Hello! You’ve reached kelsey’s corner, the only newsletter on the internet written and lovingly curated by me, Kelsey. This edition was written during the nosiest construction in my building’s parking lot.
So kiss me on the cheek
Make it a long goodbye
As someone who saw it three times in theaters and owns the script I have to agree: Oppenheimer is for the girlies.
I have now been to the theater four times to watch J. Robert Oppenheimer manufacture and then wallow in his own unhappiness, and at some point along the way, I came to realize that this film is, as they say, “for the girlies.” At first, this was simply a private joke I enjoyed making to myself, counting up all the parallels between this midcentury scientist and the types of young women who treat Instagram stories like a literary medium. He is nicknamed Oppie. He reads metaphysical poetry. He wears impeccably tailored pants with fancy belt buckles and flirts with the unshakable confidence of a city girl who has never known rejection. (Misquoting Marx, being corrected and then smirk-shrugging, “Sorry, I read it in the original German” is, I’m afraid, peak hot-girl behavior.) Played by a cadaverous Cillian Murphy — who supposedly girl-dinnered on something like one almond each night to achieve optimum hollow-cheekboned haggardness — Oppenheimer first appears as he’s being mildly disciplined by a physics professor at Cambridge, to which he retaliates by trying to poison his professor’s apple with cyanide. Movie-Oppenheimer’s great malaise, we’re shown — between shots of him lying listlessly in his dormitory bed — is the burden of his own brilliance, lessened only as he coasts through the halls of great universities to finally find, in quantum physics, the challenge that all-consuming brilliance so desperately craves. His hero’s journey will eventually lead him to the building of the atomic bomb in New Mexico and the cover of Time magazine, though he will also find time to cheat on his wife and conduct a rather calisthenic sex life.
eatin’ corner | Stop listening to Dave Portnoy and start reading this magnificent Grub Street Diet.
My friends and I re-watched The Social Network last week and it’s incredible how much this movie still rips. It’s zippy and clear-eyed and full of wonderful performances1 and some of the best Sorkin dialogue you can find. Absolutely worth a Tuesday night viewing.
favorites corner | Two very different favorites this week - first up, I bought Monikers pre-pandemic and thought I’d have people over at my apartment with any frequency but we recently whipped it out at a party and it was a hit. Easy to play in teams or a big group and there’s a few expansion packs listed on Amazon that I might add to my Christmas List. And second, the TikTok girlies finally got to me. I picked up the viral Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm in vanilla and it kind of slaps. I will say I think it goes on kind of tacky (I don’t know what kind of butter Summer Fridays is using) but it does feel really hydrating and melts into my lips in a real nice way.
wishlist corner | Recent additions to my wishlist include the utility jumpsuit Greta Gerwig wore while directing Barbie and this hat that I cannot bring myself to spend $50 on.
I just learned you can pay real American money to meet the otters at the Shedd Aquarium and I’m moments away from adding an Otter Sinking Fund to my budget.
local corner | A few weekends ago my friends and I drove to Bridgeport and learned how to make rugs. It was really fun! The folks at Freestyle Ceramics and Tufting taught us how to use the tufting gun, gave us a bunch of yarn, and let us go to town. I’m very excited to pick up my donut mug and give it a place of prominence in my kitchen.
past corner | I speedwalked the annual Race to Wrigley in exactly one hour and got a colonoscopy2 in the same week. Talk about movin’ and groovin’!
future corner | Tonight I’m fulfilling a Broadway dream and seeing Audra McDonald perform at the Lyric Opera. Coming up I have a trip to the apple orchard, a Renee Rapp concert I will stand in the back of, and a few trips to the movies for the Chicago Film Festival.
Still handsome! Finally gets to use his Big Comforter at night so he’s thriving.
I’ll be back on October 20 with more movie reviews than usual. In the meantime, why don’t you check out the most-clicked link from our last newsletter — this very soothing slime TikTok. And, if you want to follow me around the internet you can find a link to my other socials here.
If you liked this newsletter, please share it with a friend or an enemy using the button below. If you double-liked this newsletter and want to buy me a Slurpee for my troubles here’s my virtual tip jar. Until then, please be nice to people. I’ll be thinking of you.
Your friend,
Kelsey
Even Armie Hammer! Thought cannibals can be good actors too!
It came back clear, thanks for asking. :)