this benefits me in ways you can’t imagine
Surprise, bitch! This newsletter includes Meghan Trainor ft. T-Pain, a series of jungle emergencies, and me going plot point by plot point on an episode of The Durrells.
Hello! You’ve reached kelsey’s corner, the only newsletter on the internet written and lovingly curated by me, Kelsey. This newsletter has appeared in your inbox like the Ghost of Christmas Past appeared to Ebenezer Scrooge and then showed him a bunch of traumatic moments that made him reconsider why he’s so mean to people. That’s not going to happen to you if you read this, to be very clear. This also isn’t some soft-launched comeback; I just wanted to pop in and kick it with you for a little year-end recap.
Kicking if off nice and easy: here are my most-listened to songs of the year provided by Spotify. Only one of these is indicative of a mental breakdown!
If you want it you can get it
If you feel it you should let it
If you're leaving you should let me knowEven if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
Baby, I want you to (Ooh)
Shake a little (Ooh)
Makе it jiggle (Ooh)
Put that thing in the middle for Mеghan and Pizzle (Ooh)1
Self-esteem high, bank account full
In a quiet moment at the theater, I could feel your pain
Deep inside the city, your memory remains
And now here are five songs I liked even if Spotify doesn’t have the data to back it up. I’m my own AI! You can’t stop me!
Oh, I’d rather be with you
'Cause good men die too so I’d rather be with youSo difficult, but so invincible
Irresistible, but I loved you stillAnd I hope you treat your heart
Real nice and real smartHave you ever tried this one?
Goodnight, God bless
Godspeed and all the rest
Love is not a constant
It'll change, and you will too
So goodnight, God bless
Good luck to you
I’ll be the first to tell you I didn’t read a lot this year: sometime around August my brain just stopped accepting books all together. I DNF’d more than I can count, but I did have a favorite before I locked up. I grabbed Beautyland by Marie-Helene Bertino off the Books Are Magic recommendation table and it bowled me over: a beautiful book about human connection with a scootch of magical realism.
I’d also be remiss if I didn’t call out two of my favorite (and deeply insane in their own ways) romance books: What is Love? by Jen Comfort for some good trivia nerd-on-nerd action and Fangirl Down by Tessa Bailey for some good golfer-on-caddy action.
And to wrap up my sad little year in books, I loved Fat Ham by James Ijames. It’s a modern retelling of Hamlet set at a family cookout and I already have tickets to see it at the Goodman Theatre in February.
Challengers!!! Challengers!!! I loved it so much I signed up for tennis lessons2. I was also thoroughly charmed by both Hit Man and Twisters — it really was a Glen Powell summer. And a Sebastian Stan fall, I guess? I really liked A Different Man.
In terms of rewatches I finally saw Tenet in theaters (cowboy shit!) and stood in the lobby for the last 10 minutes of All of Us Strangers at the Music Box, as both God and my therapist intended.
For TV, I’ll start with the reality nonsense: I sold a bunch of people on watching season two of The Traitors by calling it “celebrity idiot mole” and I cannot wait for season three. I also gobbled up The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Should I get extensions? Be honest.
When it comes to everything else, I watched all four “series” of The Durrells which is lovely British TV show about a lovely British family that moves to Greece for a new start. Every episode has the most insane, mismatched collection of plotlines you’ve ever seen3 and it feels like a warm hug. I also got swept up in Nobody Wants This (of course we have to talk about Adam Brody but we also have to talk about Tim Simons!!!) and fell for the deeply insane seaside universe that is Doctor Odyssey.4 The Gay Week episode made me laugh so hard I cried a little bit.
And as a bonus not-quite TV but not-quite-a-movie, I loved James Acaster’s special Hecklers Welcome. Unexpectedly sweet!
I went to 10 concerts this year and a few of my favorites were Bleachers at the Salt Shed, Maggie Rogers at the United Center, Niall Horan at Madison Square Garden, and Vulfpeck back at the Salt Shed. I love the Salt Shed - there’s so much space, so many options for seating, and they’re a Pepsi venue.
Biiiiig year for sports in the Farrell household: two Blackhawks games, six Cubs games (which included opening day and the last game of the season, plus my first year celebrating the deeply unwell tradition of a Red Line Double Header), three White Sox Games, one Red Stars game, and three days at the Texas Children’s Houston Open.5 I also became attached to the postseason Mets, which is possibly spinning me into a brand-new, full-time fan. They could have sold me on memes alone, if we’re being honest.
I’d be lying to your digital face if I told you my favorite theatrical event of the year was anything other than Keen Company’s gala concert performance of Glory Days. If you’ve talked to me about theater you know I’m a Glory Days historian, and seeing it live in a room with all my friends was genuinely very special. My favorite New York shows of the year were Merrily We Roll Along, Ragtime at Encores, and the closed-too-soon Swept Away. Locally, I can’t say I loved (or even liked?) Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil but it’s certainly talked about a lot in my groupchats. I did, however, truly love Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 at Writer’s Theater6 - they always do phenomenal work.
I was really good about tracking all of the previous categories but slacked on the things section (for some reason it feels weird to think “here’s a good thing I paid money for”) but here’s a loose, haphazard remembrance of my favorite things I bought:
A 32 oz HydroJug and a 20 oz HydroJug - I love them both! They are my Pepsi Containers, and my favorite part is that they are sealed tight. I recently flipped mine upside-down with full confidence in a public setting. I throw it half-full into bags with my laptop, my planner stuff, whatever - it’s not gonna leak!
A super oversized hoodie when I saw Niall Horan at MSG, which has become my “house hoodie.” It’s currently in my laundry bag and I’m kind of sad about it.
This one was my Christmas present to myself: a printer! I bought it on Black Friday and now I don’t have to walk to FedEx anymore to print all the pictures I stick in my planner. It’s so fun. Ink is only $2 a month. Sometimes I don’t even print a full page of stuff, like a little gremlin.
I really don’t know what category to put my laundry list of hobbies in so I hope you’ll allow me to leave it here. Let’s get one thing clear right off the bat: I won my groupchat’s Movie Fantasy League for the 2023-2024 season. I’m telling you this early because, barring an act of God, I will not win the 2024-2025 season. When I wasn’t smoking all the fools who put Dune: Part II on their ballots I was throwing myself in the lake for in my second Polar Plunge, spending a lot of time scrapbooking in my Hobonichi, and getting progressively worse at tennis. Did I mention I saw Challengers twice in theaters?
Beef is 5’4”. Cocaine is back at SNL. Jumanji is a series of jungle emergencies. So many people were, honey! And finally, I think this is my favorite TikTok of the year, which makes it so much funnier that I first watched it in January.
I went to New York three times this year. On the last trip I told all my friends if they wanted to see me in 2025 they’d have to come to Chicago, and two hours after that BAM announced Paul Mescal in A Streetcar Named Desire. So, y’know, I’ll be back in the Big Apple in March. My reoccurring favorites are Clinton Street Baking Company (and they take online reservations now!) and Schmackary’s. New favorites are Rubirosa, Little Cupcake Bake Shop, and Emmy Squared (which might have the best mozzerella sticks in New York?)
I spent nearly a week in Houston where I walked 10,000+ steps a day and ate a suspicious amount of meals at the Galleria food court. Every day while I waited in a tent for my rideshare off the golf course they had free chocolate chip cookies from Tiny’s Milk and Cookies and I think I ate 10 over five days. They were so good, man. I’m still thinking about them.
I spent much less time in Austin but I appreciated the city’s plentiful bike lanes and respect for scootering. Every Uber driver recommended Terry Black’s Barbecue and every Uber driver was right. I usually don’t love Houston BBQ but my god, this was incredible. And the staff was so kind! I also loved moseying around Paper Work for new magnets and postcards. It’s a really good one-stop-shop if you’re looking to grab gifts.
And finally, I made a triumphant return to Colorado where I only got altitude sickness once. Please clap!!! In Colorado Springs I loved Christmas in Manitou (they had a French Onion Dip ornament *and* I got to pet a dog there) and the Garden of the Gods Trading Post. We also spent our first night in town at Louie Louie Piano Bar which was a hoot and a half. In Denver I had a perfect ice cream cone at High Point Creamery and my friend Nora and I became a little obsessed with Puttshack, which is like mini golf with computer element. Very fun way to spend the night!
Bucky passed away after a handful of medical issues in early August. At the end of the day his heart was too big, which is a fitting diagnosis for the Little Prince of Lakeview. It’s been about four months and it’s not particularly poetic, but all I can say about this grieving process is that it sucks. It just sucks! I hope one day it sucks less. Being his roommate for the last four years has been a great honor and I hope I can welcome a new dog into my heart and home in 2025.
I’ll be back at the end of 2025, I guess. Or maybe I won’t! Life is a mystery. I’ll be 30 by then. Maybe by the end of next year this whole recap will be written by AI — I can only hope the robots capture my innate whimsy. And I hope, even more than that, your 2025 treats you well.
Your friend,
Kelsey
I honestly don’t know what happened here but congratulations to Meghan and T-Pain.
I also loved it so much I spent the rest of the year watching Josh O’Connor movies and kicking my feet looking at pictures of him on Twitter.
what if you were SLEEPING WITH YOUR LANDLADY but she WASN’T HOME because she STABBED HER EX-BOYFRIEND THE OLIVE OIL GUY who’s CURRENTLY DATING YOUR MOM but she’s BUSY DELIVERING HER FRIEND’S BABY and your brother is DELIVERING A DIFFERENT BABY IN YOUR KITCHEN and GERRY is WORRIED ABOUT HIS OTTERS
There was about a week straight where I tried to convince everyone I know to watch this show. Co-workers, cousins, my therapist. Not a single person is spared from the joy of medical emergencies on the high seas!!!!
One of the silliest moments of the year (work or otherwise) for me was asking a bunch of professional golfers if they know what their spleen does.
The whole pre-show/intermission playlist for this absolutely ripped but I want to give whomever decided to drop “Someone New” by Hozier right after act one ended a big kiss on the mouth.