Hello and welcome to kelsey’s corner, the only newsletter on the internet written and lovingly curated by me, Kelsey. This week is all about heavy sighs, moldy leggings, and face bruises.
Hello again! I’m sorry for going ghost on you two weeks ago. Here’s a list of what’s happened since the last time we talked. I:
got three impacted wisdom teeth yanked out of my head (and it went great! Really minimal pain and the worst side effect has been a giant bruise on my cheek that hasn’t quite faded yet. Let me know if you’re in Chicago and need a guy to take your teeth out.)
accepted a job offer at a digital agency and put in my two weeks at my job of three years.
celebrated one year in my sweet little apartment with the love of my life - the elevator.
rushed Bucky to the emergency vet because the little prince ate an entire tampon at 10 p.m. on a Wednesday (and that also ended up uh, fine? If you need an emergency vet in Chicago…)
So it’s been busy. However, I’ve still consumed my fair share of #content and I am ready to provide you with the fruits of my labor.
Things for Your Ears
I do not want to talk about Dear Evan Hansen but I do want to share two of my favorite Pasek & Paul songs: I Once Knew and Some Kinda Time.
Giving second chances
I don't need all the answers
Feeling good in my skin
I just keep on dancin'And I won’t wish to be yours
Or for you to be mine
Things for Your Eyes
It seems like while I was gone everyone learned what a parasocial relationship is. I know the John Mulaney news is well-trod territory, but I think this article does a good job encapsulating the whole hoopla and this Tik Tok picks up the slack for fans (okay, fine, me) who have more legitimate concerns.
But as a stand-up, John Mulaney’s job, or at least part of it, is to make you feel like you do know him. You’re supposed to feel like you could borrow a cup of sugar from him, intimately chat him up at the dog park, or plan a long weekend getaway at an Airbnb in some wooded hamlet for you and your partner and Mulaney and his (now ex-)wife, Annamarie Tendler. Think of all the chickens you could roast! The thing is, if you actually tried to do any of those things, the first words that come to my mind when thinking of the immediate result are “restraining order.”
I’m very fascinated by the cultural shift towards photo dumps. What could be driving it? A desire for manufactured authenticity; a slow-down of ““content”” during the ongoing pandemic? I can’t say for sure, but know I will be investigating your dumps as long as you share them.
“Dumping,” as opposed to old-fashioned posting, is a way of participating in the Instagram economy without seeming like you’re taking it too seriously; of being simultaneously curated and carefree. One friend likened to posting on Tumblr; others have compared it to early Facebook albums. To share one nice-looking photo of your life is to say: I want you to know that I have a nice life. But dumping ten shitty photos (with maybe one enviable image buried in there) is the lifestyle porn equivalent of sharing a smiley-face-shrugging emoji.
People traditionally project identity outside of the domestic sphere, for a public audience. You wear a branded shirt to the bar, or stunt in a set of joggers on the subway. But, especially this year, with social media allowing people to perform identities from home, the domestic is not off limits for brands. Dunkin’ has seamlessly swooped in.
Maybe Dunkin’ is colonizing the next frontier of ad space, in our homes, blasting through a boundary that can never be repaired. Or maybe they are just having fun in a year when we really, really need it.
Things for Your Ears and Eyes
I absolutely gobbled LuLaRich, Amazon’s new four-part series about the rise and fall of legging purveyor LuLaRoe. It has characters! It has drama! It has moldy leggings! I’ve put it on multiple days for background noise and I find a new, chaotic piece of information every time. I also loved Jill Filipovic’s companion piece on how the intersection of Mormonism, the cultural status of being a stay at home mom, and good ‘ol girlbossery helped set the stage for women to sell these very festive leggings.*
This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen and I watched the whole hour.
Things
My favorite local candle company had their Fall drop and I grabbed two Honeycrisp candles faster than you could slice an apple. I’m not even a huge candle person but I hoard these things from September to February so my apartment always smells like a beautiful little orchard. Also, when the candle is all done you can clean it out and you have your own mason jar! Sustainability, baby!
I’m very picky about bookmarks. It has to be sturdy enough to hold up to me tossing my books in bags or off my couch, but it also has to be thin enough that it doesn’t make a weird dent in the book that’ll drive me nuts. I found these magnetic ones on Etsy, and besides being adorable they check all my book safety boxes.
Things to Make You Smile
Here’s your weekly red panda update: still adorable. I just learned there’s red pandas at the second-closest zoo to me, so if anyone wants to take a roadtrip to see the red pandas you know where to find me.
I’ll be back on October 8th to celebrate my week of rest and unemployment. Think of all the trouble we can get into!
If you liked this newsletter, please share it with a friend or an enemy using the button below. If you double-liked this newsletter and want to fund my Slurpee habit you can do so here. Until then, please keep wearing your mask and be nice to people. I’ll be thinking of you.
Your friend,
Kelsey
*I’ve done the ~research and LuLaRoe currently has less Instagram followers than Walgreens. Just some food for thought.