Better Call Bob
And say thank you! I wrote this title and description before I removed that video from this newsletter because I thought it was too inside baseball. Now you’ll never know.
Hello and welcome to kelsey’s corner, the only newsletter on the internet written and lovingly curated by me, Kelsey. This week is all about feeding horses, embargoing your wedding, and buying hats.
Things For Your Ears
We’re gonna thank our lucky stars that we exist!
Couldn't wait to turn fifteen
Then you blink and it's been ten years
Growing up a little at a time, then all at once
Everybody wants the best for you
But you gotta want it for yourself, my loveI heard this song in a stationary shop last weekend and it reminded me that a) I am obsessed with it and b) the Punch Up the Jam episode trying to make sense of it all is nearly perfect. Touch my bumper!!!
Things For Your Ears
I’m not a huge romance reader. (I think that’s clear when the last book I recommended here was just about cult linguistics.) However, my step-mom got me People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry for my birthday and its, dare I say, magnificent? It made me feel as fluttery and warm as my favorite romcoms and I didn’t even care that the final ~argument felt a little contrived. It’s about love, baby! Who could be mad about that?
As an unrepentant Toddlers and Tiaras viewer I’m thrilled to know Alana, The Teenager Formerly Known As Honey Boo Boo, is mature, lovely, and doing her absolute best.
Alana focuses more on how she feels about herself, in her own skin, than what commenters have to say. “Like, I know I'm beautiful, and I know I got a banging body, so...I don't care,” she says with a shrug. She thinks we need to be showing all different kinds of bodies, which is something she thinks pageants actually excel at.
Deeply obsessed with this Anne Helen Petersen deep-dive into the ecosystem of Peleton celebrity and what it means for boutique fitness and the formation of celebrity moving forward.
These celebrity instructors, like all celebrities, are texts. Their primary ‘meaning’ is located in their status as ‘coaches,’ inflected with whatever coaching personality they’ve adopted and refined. (Ally, oscillates between a murderer (her Tabata classes) and a cool- church praise leader (Sundays with Love)). As consumers, we can be influenced and swayed into certain ways of reading those texts, but the reading practice itself is never static. What matters is that we’re invested, even if we don’t admit it.
Things For Your Ears and Eyes
I know little about Kit Harrington (he was in Game of Thrones? Has a baby? His wife is gorgeous?) but I think this is a genuinely brilliant idea for a late night sketch and I’m furious it came from Jimmy Fallon. But respect where it’s due, Straight Up Goes For It deserves kudos.
Things
Been sweatin’ all around the northside in my Out Of Office hat from a brand that was Facebook targeted to me. I haven’t bought any of their actual products (I’m not outdoorsy enough - but they do have a sale happening right now!) so I can’t speak to that, but the hat is great and has a little K on the back. I’m pretending it stands for Kelsey.
I went to a wedding last week and actually put on makeup for the occasion. Most of it is sweat proof (the lip balm isn’t but I was too lazy/busy eating churros to reapply, so that’s my fault too) and it doesn’t break the bank. Here’s the BB cream, lip balm, and highlighter in case you want to look like the stars*. I looked pretty good, if I do say so myself!
Things to Make You Smile
I love red pandas!!! Take me to the Oregon Zoo to see the red pandas!!!
I was raised to be a dog person but this Tik Tok account is changing my mind. #FreeEd #LetEdRoam #EdsArmy
Dev Patel is the eighth wonder of the world. You can’t change my mind!
Due to some scheduling issues (okay, fine - I’m getting my wisdom teeth out) you’ll get the next newsletter on Thursday, September 9. I’ll be pressing send from the oral surgeon’s office. It’s not the beach in Siesta Key or a duck boat tour in Boston, but I’ll add it to the silly list of places I’ve send this from nonetheless.
If you liked this newsletter, please share it with a friend or an enemy using the button below. If you double-liked this newsletter and want to fund my Slurpee habit you can do so here. Until then, please keep wearing your mask and be nice to people. I’ll be thinking of you.
Your friend,
Kelsey
*Or me, one of the only single cousins at the wedding, asking the bar for another Coke and busting it down to Bang Bang. Back, back seat of my caaaaaaaaar!