a midwestern lady called me the devil
This newsletter includes stand up, social networks, and screen protectors.
Hello! You’ve reached kelsey’s corner, the only newsletter on the internet written and lovingly curated by me, Kelsey. This newsletter drafted while I had a sore throat but was being very brave about the whole endeavor.
I’ma absolutely fuck the Grinch
Sour in your saddle
I think you wanna start a war
I've got bigger battles
And you're just a guy on a horseLast year, I had to focus on survival
My ex was a bitter man, middle child
Oh dear, oh well
Now I'm in my holy revivalThere's nothing new to do in Brooklyn anymore
Blank Check doing a three hour/no-guest episode about The Social Network is music to my goddamn ears!!!
I’m sure you’re all getting sick of my commitment to including Grub Street Diets in this newsletter but what am I supposed to do when Matt Rogers shares the only good opinion about Slurpees? Keep it to myself? I don’t think so, honey.
I was so full from dinner that I didn’t do popcorn, but I did end up popping off with a Coke Slurpee. No disrespect to the blue and red flavors of Slurpee, but they are not that girl, and they were never that girl. I have always loved Coca-Cola. I have a vivid memory from childhood of chugging a two-liter bottle while I watched the Backstreet Boys, running around my basement. I haven’t changed at all.
Had a hoot and a half watching Pete Holmes’ newest comedy special. King of unlocking the joy box! King of silly stuff!
I will never forget the SAG strike (for a fair contract they absolutely deserve) robbed me of two separate Alden Ehrenreich press cycles. We could have had a puppy interview. He could have been on Hot Ones! I’ll settle for him talking about movies in a closet.
This is a weird pull but I bought this screen protector on Amazon because I cracked mine and it was so easy to put on my phone. I always feel weird when it’s like, 10% misaligned but that wasn’t an issue!
We’ve got two videos of a mustache-having Aaron Tveit from a recent concert: here’s his covers of Being Alive and Dancing on my Own!
A formal Kelsey’s Chicago farewell to the Thompson Center, an architectural marvel Google is tearing down to make room for their staff cafeteria or in-house bowling alley or whatever. I’d prefer easy access to a Sbarro when I’m at work but heck, I’m no architect.
past corner | I have to be honest: I’ve done nothing the past two weeks. It gets dark out early and I have zero motivation to leave the house. I’ve seen two movies (one fine, one bad) and had two dinners (one fine, one great!) and it’s looking like that schedule will continue for the rest of the month.
future corner | Coming up we have Thanksgiving at my Dad’s house - it’s his favorite holiday and he gets very excited about it, which is kind of sweet. I also have two dinners planned and Braden (frequent readers know Braden, I don’t have to introduce him) and I are seeing The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and going on a candle-procuring excursion. Fall fun, baby!
I’ll be back on December 1 and we’ll be down to our last three newsletters together. Bittersweet, I tell ya. In the meantime, why don’t you check out the most-clicked link from our last newsletter — a 30 Rock joke that never gets old. And, if you want to follow me around the internet you can find a link to my other socials here.
If you liked this newsletter, please share it with a friend or an enemy using the button below. If you double-liked this newsletter and want to buy me a Slurpee for my troubles here’s my virtual tip jar. Until then, please be nice to people. I’ll be thinking of you.
Your friend,
Kelsey